Living In Faith

2009-05-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

I was so absolutely amazed as I read those devotions that I have shared about my journey with God for the past three years in my university life. I could not help but was truely grateful to God as I recounted back on every single grace and favour that he has blessed me with. First of all, let me gave thanks to God for blessing me with an A- in my Final Year Project and Professional Communication module. This was indeed a significant encouragement to me as it testified of God’s faithfulness and grace.

I prayed that even as you read this testimony, God will speaks deeply to your heart that you too can experience and taste God’s goodness in your life. The time when I started my university studies also marked the time when I came to know the Lord, Jesus Christ. It was definitely not a smooth sailing journey for me as I started off with lots of struggling in my studies and even received an academic warning from the school due to extreme poor grades in my first semester. As I just came to know the lord, I did not know how to tap on God’s strength and neither leading a positive attitude for Christ. I always seemed to be handling negative thoughts that I could not do well in my exams and often fell into a self-pity mode. It was definitely a battle of my mind and emotions.

However, due to the spirit of obedience that the lord has blessed me with, I was disciplined in the words of God. It was not a hundred percents consistency in my daily quiet time but at least I could assure that I did not abandon the bible or miss out the church services. And as all of us are human beings, it was normal that at times when we faced stress during trials, we tend to reduce our trust in the lord and try to rely on our own flesh. This happened to me countless time when I seemed to fall into the valley of Baca and experienced the silent moment from God, not knowing that he has a plan for me and was moulding me in terms of my trust and faith in him.

To shorten my testimony, definitely not because of little miracles along my journey but too much to list it down one by one that it could be compiled into a book, I will straight away shared with you my victory in the last episode of my university life. Throughout my three years, I have being faithfully serving God whenever I am called by my leader but this year was more special as I was given the opportunity to be part of the celebration ministry in the church. It was a step of great faith for me because this year was also considered the most hectic year in my studies due to my final year project. However, God has burned in my heart a passion to serve in the chorale and as such I was having my rehearsal on a weekly basis which means sacrificing more time from my project. Initially, it was not easy as I separated serving God with my studies and most of my non-believer friends do not understand why am I committing those precious time in church activities. The breakthrough came when I was called to volunteer to serve in the G12 conference and it was only one week before my final report submission. It was a struggle as I have not even started with one page of the report in which was supposed to be done eight months ago. However, I did not want to miss out the opportunity to serve in the chorale for G12. Without considering much, I went ahead and was thinking at the back of my mind that I can be a superwomen using one week to finish up an eight months report. I went with peace and joy in the serving but after the G12 conference, I panicked and realized that it was impossible for me to complete my report on time.

It was really a moment when I decided to skip my QT (but it didn’t apply before G12) so that I could earn extra time in the report. Things didn’t go smoothly and I faced extreme critical situation when I did not have a proper laptop to type my report and my file always seemed to have trouble saving or retrieving. It was only at that stressful moment when God showed me 2 Cronicles 20:17-18 in which I have shared in my previous devotion. The lord prompted me to take up my position to worship and praise him before I continued with my report just like how Jehoshaphat and his people followed God’s instruction to take their position (worship) and calm themselves down before facing their enemies. They fixed their focus on God rather then the situation and that was what I needed at that moment.

I turned my focus onto God and started to surrender my situation to him. I applied what God has showed me and begun to worship and praise him at the start and in the midst of typing my report. As I started to integrate worships and praises into my work, my burden was lifted off and my faith was gradually stirred up in trusting God even though the situation remained unchanged. God’s favor was indeed upon me as my professor agreed to extend my deadline to two more weeks upon request. I continued to serve chorale weekly and my QT did not cease. I tapped onto God’s strength in my report and eventually situation started to change. I found efficiency and effectiveness in my researching and before long; I realized that I had completed my report. Although it was not a professional report but I trust God that the product of my report belongs to him and it was definitely not because of how good I am, but by his grace and mercy that led me to the completion of the report. I put total confidence in him as I experienced how much he had pulled me through the tough situation and no matter what was the outcome; I would still continued to praise him. I learnt to release my faith and by doing that God was able to release his good work in me.

God was indeed faithful as he really blessed me with an A- in my FYP. It was a miracle for me as this was the third As that I have obtained throughout my three years in NTU. I cried the moment I saw the A- in my result slip not because I never see it before but it was a sign of God’s love to me. At times when I choose to give up, he never let me go but ensure that I can stand firm as a precious child of God.

I ended the race with victory because of God’s faithfulness. He does not only blessed me with one A- but also blessed me with an A- in my professional communication module. It was indeed a double portion of blessing. This encouraged me a lot because I had little confidence in that module due to my weakness in my English language. However, that’s not true for God. He created me wonderfully, not lacking in any part and he strengthen my weaknesses as I placed my uttermost confidence in him. Glory to God!

Therefore, I encouraged all of you to fix your eyes upon Jesus. You are his precious children and there is nothing that can withhold him from blessing you. The process may be slow but that was how God showed his miracle to Elijah in 1 King 18:42-45. God promised an abundance of rain to Elijah and he went up to the top of Mount carmel, got down on his knees with his forehead to the ground. In that position of worship, he sent his servant to run back and forth several times to check if it was going to rain. However, seven times his servant came back with disappointing results. Elijah never gave up but just said, “Go again” despite the negative reports. Doubts may have caused Elijah to give up but worship kept him strong. And finally, the servant came back and reported to him,” Well, I do see one small cloud about the size of a man’s hand.” Hallelujah! The small cloud eventually increased and brought abundance of rain. Today if your faith is as small as the cloud of the man’s hand or of the mustard seed, do not give up as God’s love and faithfulness can never fail!

worshipping and Praising the Lord during Trial

2009-05-24T09:53:00.000-07:00

I am currently finishing my last lap of university life with Michelle in our final year project. This coming Wednesday is our most crucial and final presentation of our project which we had been working on for the past eight months. It’s a tough journey but as I reflected back every single moment of hardship in the challenges we faced, I really praised God as in those challenges, God mould me to learn to persevere and be dependent on him totally.

At this timing, actually I should be touching up on my presentation slides and speech but something which the lord showed me during these few weeks as I meditated on my QT indeed allowed me to set this time aside to share a revelation which I felt is important to each and everyone of us as we prepared ourselves for an upcoming battle and for me this battle is definitely my presentation.

In 2 Chronicles 20:17-18,

17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' " 18 Jehoshaphat bowed with his face to the ground, and all the people of Judah and Jerusalem fell down in worship before the LORD. 19 Then some Levites from the Kohathites and Korahites stood up and praised the LORD, the God of Israel, with very loud voice.

In our battle against our spiritual enemies (fear, stress, worries etc) our position is in Christ. It is resting in him in worship and praise.

When you are faced with a fearful situation and don’t know what to do, follow the instructions God gave Jehoshaphat and his people. Take your position (worship) and calm yourself down. Turn your focus on God.

What is interesting in this scripture is that in the time when Jehoshaphat knew that he was going to face a large vast of his enemies, he took out his time to worship God first. The question is, “How many of us in time when we knew that we are going to face a challenges or a fearful situation, take out the precious time to worship and praise God first?”

I was thinking what were the thoughts that Jehoshaphat’s people had on him at that moment. They must be feeling real fearful, knowing that at any time their enemies were going to attack them and they must be filled with lots of insecurity. They may not fully understand why Jehoshaphat still could set aside that critical time to worship the lord but they obeyed and followed him.

Take note!! The worship started before the battle and not after the battle. This was because it was a worship of deliverance.

Further down the scripture, we witness the answer as in verse 22,

22 As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated. 23 The men of Ammon and Moab rose up against the men from Mount Seir to destroy and annihilate them. After they finished slaughtering the men from Seir, they helped to destroy one another.

That’s the power of worship! It’s a worship to deliver them from their enemies as the battle belongs to the lord and as they worshiped the lord fight the battle for them.

Therefore, I encouraged all of us especially for those who were taking their exam during this period. Time for revision may be short but take out some times before your exam to set your posture in worships and praises to the lord and witness how he can deliver all fear from you and assist you in victory over your battle!

14th May

2009-05-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so refreshed after attending the prayer meeting at Expo. I was glad to serve in the chorale today as initially was still handling thoughts of deciding whether to serve.

But as I'm making the decision, three questions popped out in my mind this morning on why am I thinking of not serving:

(1) Are you feeling unwell today?

(2) Are you going for the prayer meeting today?

(3) Do you want to miss out the opportunity of being involve in taking part in God serving commitee?

My Answer to each of the question is:

(1) No. I'm feeling perfectly fit today and not feeling any single bit of tireness.

(2) Yes. I'm going for the prayer meeting.

(3) I really want to serve God in every given opportunity.

Then, why am I handling those thoughts of not serving chorale? Isn't the answer obvious? Its a YES to serve in the chorale today.

I'm a person who thinks a lot and sometimes I think the Holy Spirit really need to poke those bubbles floating out of my brain which contain all the senseless and redundant thoughts that not only kill my precious brain cells but increase my worries and destroy the peace in me.

In this season, I'm learning to think and focus only on what is useful and beneficial in my spiritual growth and not to entertain on those unnecessary thinkings which can affect my emotion as well as hindering my growth in the lord.

I need to be discipline in my quiet time on meditating on the words so that it can provide the vitamins to my spiritual growth and guard my heart, mind and spirit. It is not easy as i'm quite a slacker and tend to be tempted to do the things that I enjoyed such as sleeping, watching TV and playing computer games.

In order to ensure that i'm discipline in my daily QT, I have decided to blog my devotion at least three times per week. It may seemed easy for some of you but definitely not that easy for me. Therefore, I wished to start simple with three postings on my blog per week and slowly incresed until I can blog on a daily basis. This should help to keep an account of my daily QT.

CompassionART

2009-05-08T23:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, I bought a CD through the recommendation of one of my spiritual brothers, titled "CompassionART". It was an amazing and heart-touching worship CD because it gathered 15 wonderful songs inspired by 12 famous artists such as Tim Hughes, Joel Houston, Micheal W.Smith and many more. What touches my heart is not only about how great the songs were but the journey on the production of this CD.

It all started with Martin from the band Delirious? to gather 12 wonderful song writers over the world to have a retreat in scotland where this retreat is not the usual type of retreat in which we always enjoy. It was a retreat where God's people gathered and by faith to be used by God in their area of talent to come out with 15 worship songs to cry out for the justice for the poor and needy in the world.

I was extremely encouraged by how each and everyone of them threw aside their agenda and came together with one vision to work for the impossible and humble themselves down to seek the lord on composing songs that are going to help the poorest of the poor.

One of their tag line, " It's impossible to call ourselves worshippers and not be moved in the area of justice" had showed how much they were willing to be used as a vessel for God. There are many great worshippers in the world today and I had no doubt on how God had moved uniquely and impact each of their life but how many could actually stand up like these 12 worshippers to sing for justice and shake the nation. I was greatly inspired by them even as I meditate on the lyrics of their song. It touches my heart deeply.

I have never being to any of the poor countries and could not personally witness the suffering of the poors in those countries but through the documentry that they film had really broken my heart especially when one of the artists said, "The parents among those poors don't even name their child cos they don't even know how long they can survive". Its so so sad to hear that. Can you imagine a parent bringing the joy of a new life into the world but couldn't afford to feed them and have to watch them die from starvation and diseases because of poor sanitary in their countries. I thanks God and felt so fortunate in where I am now... having more than enough of food for my daily three meals, new clothes to wear and even school to attend. What about them? I prayed that indeed more open doors will be opened up to let people aware of the situation in these poor countries so that justice can be cry out for them, opening up doors for more volunteers to go and bless them in their needs. I too pray that I can have the opportunity one day to go and bless these poors in the world. Although, I don't have the ability right now to visit or help them, but what I can do is to pray for them in every of my prayer and grace before food.

I encouraged you all to purchase this compassionART CD as a form of support for their this project to carry on, touching the heart of people in the world to help the poorest of the poor.

I am REDEEMED through the BLOOD OF JESUS

2009-03-22T01:57:00.000-07:00

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect."
- 1 Peter 1:18-19

Before attending the G12 Conference, Senior Pastor had been preaching a series of sermon on the Blood of Jesus and that was also a main highlight in the G12 conference when Ps Cesar brought about the important on the blood of Jesus.

When the lead singer from Delirious? shared with us that he once question Ps Cesar “What will you preach if you have to preach for the last sermon of your life?”, the answer was “THE BLOOD OF JESUS”. I questioned myself at that moment what is the conviction on the blood of Jesus in my heart. I was doubtful and confused when I reflect on the blood of Jesus. I knew at the back of my mind that the blood of Jesus had removed the sin of our life and bring the purity to cleanse our worldly heart and it is a living sacrifice that God has offered in order to reconcile us back to him. But somehow it didn’t bring a conviction to my heart and I was confused that had I being walking in the knowledge of men and what I believed didn’t come from the spirit.

It was heavy as I think about it as I did not want to gain the knowledge from men but truly from the spirit of God. I prayed for God to input a fresh revelation to me on THE BLOOD OF JESUS. And he was faithful in answering the desire of my heart for this revelation. It occurred to me one morning, which was 2 days after the G12 conference when the lord revel to me a fresh insight on the blood of Jesus.

In my usual daily routine on my way to school that morning, I tuned in to the worship songs in my mp3. I’m not sure of the reason but somehow I decided to listen to the old worship songs in my mp3 which were downloaded 2 years back. I chanced upon this song in which the music and the lyrics caught my attention. “What could wash away my sin? NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD OF JESUS” The title of this song was NOTHING BUT The BLOOD OF JESUS. As I was seeking for the revelation from God about the blood of Jesus, I asked God what he is trying to convey his message to me. I try to reason out with God that indeed I already knew that the blood of Jesus has washed away my sin but I need a stronger conviction. And what broke me was when God showed me 1 Peter 1:18-19:

At that moment I sensed God telling me,
“My child, have you not know that your life is so precious to me that I didn’t redeemed you using silver or Gold but I truly REDEEMED YOU WITH THE PRECIOUS BLOOD OF CHRIST.”
I felt sad at how shallow I am in not understanding the heart of my heavenly father. It touches my heart and I am so grateful that my life was redeemed by the precious blood of Christ. How could a father sacrificed his own son on the cross just to redeem a sinner like us.And as I recalled back on what Ps Cesar shared during the G12 conference, he asked us to declare that we will exchange our DNA with Jesus’s DNA. And yes, at that moment when God gave me a fresh revelation on the redemption of my life through Jesus’s blood, I could feel the power of his DNA flowing in me. Thanks God for this wonderful DNA in which nothing is more worthy to trade for it in my life. I prayed that God will activate this DNA in me in which he did and teach me to work in every area of my life through the DNA of Jesus Christ.

The Valley

2008-04-28T07:10:00.000-07:00

“Even though I walk through
The valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
For you are with me,
Your rod and your staff,
They comfort me.”
~Psalm 23:4~

As I sit through Pastor Kong’s sermon yesterday, the lord minister deeply in my heart. I recognized a certain fear in myself and that is “The Fear of the Valley”. You must be surprised by what did I mean by “The Fear of the Valley”.

I remembered two years ago, I went to Turkey during the summer season for a holiday trip with my sister. And one of the most unforgettable events is the 1 hour Hot Air Balloon ride. We had to get up as early as 5am and travel down to a deep valley in order to have our hot air balloon started. You definitely have to get into your hot air balloon in the valley as hot air rises in a cold atmosphere. The journey was very long. We took about 1hr45min in order to get to the bottom of the valley by a mini bus. It was summer time but when we stepped out of our mini bus, the temperature deep down in the valley was freezing. It was around 10 degree Celsius. Can you imagine how we shiver as we stood there waiting for the balloon to set up.

Well, why do I share about this experience in the valley? To me, I do not like the valley at all! I find it scary. It was surrounded by huge mountains along the side and the sunlight that cast into the valley is very faint. Even though, there is sunlight, it is often cold sunlight because of the surrounding. People who live in the valley do not know the world at the other side of the mountain and they have to travel for hours in other to get their groceries to stock up in their home.

As I read through the scripture, I realize that the valley describe was often so scary like valley of Baca and the valley of the shadow of death and often when I face difficulties in life, I felt like I’m falling into the valley where darkness seem to surround me. Currently, I’m in my third year of studies in NTU. My result was pretty poor and I didn’t manage to get into a good attachment company. I struggle because I felt inferior in my studies especially when there is great competition in results among each other in the university. And when friends started asking about each other grades, I will just keep quiet, hoping that no one would ask me. After sometimes, I realized this build up an unhealthy mindset in me, trying to put in my own effort rather then relying on God’s strength.

However, I thank God for delivering this fear in my studies. As I stepped forward for the ministry section yesterday, God allows me to understand my situation. I saw myself struggling in a deep valley. My mind was filled with so much uncertainty in every step I take and surrounded me was thick cloud of the worldly mentality. I recognized more of the comments from the world rather then listening to the plan that God has for me. I was spiritually blinded. I thought I was managing well in fighting that off, but I was wrong.

The lord shows me the scripture which I have memorized,

“As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of spring; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.”
Psalm 84:6.

The lord asks me this question, “Are you willing to make the valley into a place of spring?” He has a great plan for me; there is no worry about my future or whether I’m able to get honors in my studies. God is more interested to mould me in my character. He wanted me to surrender wholly my studies upon him and put my trust in his plan. Only then will I find delight and strength in him. The journey in the valley is definitely tough and long. But am I able to turn in into a place of spring and know that I’m not alone in it. God is always there with me and only when I listen and walk in his will, I will eventually see the blessing at the other side of the mountain waiting for me!

God Bless you!
Love,
Si Jia

Words are Powerful!!!

2007-12-09T08:07:00.000-08:00

I came across this email by one of my professor in NTU. It was about a story call “Frogs” which I find it good to share with all of you. Here it goes…

Once upon a time, there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants…

The race began…
Honestly:
No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statement such as:
“Oh, Way too difficult!!”
“They will never make it to the top!!” or “Not a chance they will succeed. The tower is too high!”

The tiny frogs began collapsing one by one… except for those who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher… The crowd continued to yell,” It is too difficult!! No one will make it!”

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up… but one continued higher and higher and higher… This one wouldn’t give up!

At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower, except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top! Then all the other tin frogs naturally wanted to find out how this one frog managed to do it? A contestant asked this tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach a goal?

It turned out… That the winner was DEAF!!!

The wisdom of this story is:
Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be negative or pessimistic… No because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you – the ones you have in your heart. Always think of the power of the words. Everything you hear and read will affect your thinking and action!

Therefore:
Always be … POSITIVE!

And above all:
Be deaf when people tell you that you cannot fulfil your dreams!

Reflection:

In our life, we are often being discouraged and affected by negative words from others. Sometimes, we take it to heart seriously and believe that it’s true that we are not good enough to fulfil our dream and because of that, we lowered down our goal. We start to lose hope and motivation in the things we do.

Therefore, words are powerful. The words we read and listen will strongly affect our action. So, today I encourage all of you to always have a positive thinking and not to be affected by what others say about you. In another way round, we should also learn to speak words of encouragement to our family and friends. Give them words of motivation! You may never know that your words can impact one person to fulfil his or her dream!

“To the world, you might be one person; but to one person you might be the world.”

Fastest Fingers!!

2007-06-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

Wohohoho…. I’m back to blog again!!!! Simply love this song “Forever” from Hillsong. Anyway, today is my lucky day =D My subjects’ registration run very smoothly today! Thanks God (*_*)

IMPORTANT NOTICE:

Criteria for NTU students for subject registration:

1.MUST have very flexible fingers
2.Fingers MUST be able to click on the mouse as fast as possible
(How? Just switch on the vibration mode for your fingers lor!!)
3.MUST be KIASU
4.MUST be able to persevere
5.MUST be patient
6.Do not COMPLAIN

Above are the six “MUST” criteria for NTU students during their subjects’ registration period. During this period, we named it as the “Fastest Fingers” competition. Please remember to do warm up exercise for your fingers at least 30 minutes before the starting time of the registration or else you will regret!!

Singaporeans are always well known to be Kiasu but I guess this is already an impartation to us during our studies in NTU. The subjects’ registration system in NTU was in a “First-come-First serve” system. This means that we have to glue ourselves to our seat in front of the computer at least 30 minutes before the actual enrolment time. If your enrolment time starts at 1.30pm, please start clicking the “Register” icon on your web page at 1.25pm without taking a break in between (Not even 1 second) or else you will regret!!!

I really thank God that my fingers indeed work well today… Haha… I indeed switch on the vibration mode for my fingers and when the class slot is opened, I managed to add all the 8 subjects into my timetable and this is a miracle!!! All my friends didn’t manage to get all their subjects added to their timetable, the most that they could get is 4 out of 8 subjects.

However, NEVER GIVE UP!!! Persevere on and continue clicking your mouse because you may add in your subjects after 15 to 30 mins of non stop clicking!!!

I find that the situation at the computer lab is really dramatic. There was a total kiosk whereby you could hear grumbling, complaining, shout of joy and frustration in the lab. But what really made me laugh out loud is the comical expression on each and every faces of the student… Wahahaha =P

Concern For Others

2007-02-24T10:31:00.000-08:00

I recall a story about two men who were in a hospital ward, both terminally ill. One, with a position near the window, said to his fellow patient, “I can see the street from here so I’ll tell you what is going on.” Day by day he kept up a commentary on the things he said he could see. He would remark, “Ah, here’s the morning paperboy on his round again. He doesn’t look so cheerful today. I wonder what’s happened to him.”

Then they would spend a few minutes speculating together on what might be going on in the young boy’s life. Later he would say, “Here comes the street sweeper. He seems to be more interested in his work today.” Then they would talk about what might be going on in his life. Day after day the man by the window brought the outside world right into the ward for his friend, and they spent many pleasant hours chatting about the things he reported seeing from his vantage point.

The day came when the man by the window died. For a while his friend was deeply upset, but then he asked if he could be moved to the position by the window, thinking that it might help him if he could see out himself and catch sight of some of those familiar figures. Imagine his feelings when he stretched to look out of the window only to discover he was not looking at a street but at a concrete wall!

Did you notice the loving intention in this story? Even if there is a lack of truthfulness in it. Sometimes, people around us tend to do things that show their concern for us. It is a good intention of him or her which I will not deny. But if the concern to help someone who you truly trust in and there’s such a deep friendship within you and him or her that requires you to be not truthful, will you do it? It’s definitely a hard decision…

Let Go And Let God!

2007-02-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

Let Go & Let God

“As children bring their broken toys,
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
Because He is my friend.
But then instead of leaving him in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
With ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back again and cried,
” How can you be so slow?”
“My child” He said,” What could I do?
You never did let go.”

I came across this small greeting card with the above poem printed beautifully on it a few weeks ago while I was cleaning up my room. The title really caught my attention, “Let Go and Let God”. I read the poem and was greatly touched by it. I found the message so meaningful and reflect to myself that am I under such an attitude towards God. Did I ever let go and let God? Or am I just doing things in my own way and not wanting God to interfere in it? I think these questions serve as a reminder during our Christian walk whereby we are so drain out with difficult situation at times in our life that we do sometimes never let goes and let God fixed it for us. Instead we may choose to walk in our way and neglecting him…

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and

with all your soul and with all your strength”

– Deuteronomy 6:5

“Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight,

so that it may go well with you and you may go in

and take over the good land

that the Lord promised an oath to your forefather…”

-Deuteronomy 6:18

Let Go and Let God!

2007-02-15T07:07:00.000-08:00

Let Go & Let God

“As children bring their broken toys,
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
Because He is my friend.
But then instead of leaving him in peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
With ways that were my own.
At last, I snatched them back again and cried,
” How can you be so slow?”
“My child” He said,” What could I do?
You never did let go.”

I came across this small pink greeting card with the above poem printed beautifully on it a few weeks ago while I was cleaning up my room. The title really caught my attention, “Let Go and Let God”. I read the poem and was greatly touched by it. I found the message so meaningful and reflect to myself that am I under such an attitude towards God. Did I ever let go and let God? Or am I just doing things in my own way and not wanting God to interfere in it? I think these questions serve as a reminder during our Christian walk whereby we are so drain out with difficult situation at times in our life that we do sometimes never let goes and let God fixed it for us. Instead we may choose to walk in our way and neglecting him…

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart

and with

all your soul and with all your strength.”

– Deuteronomy 6:5

“Do what is right and good in the Lord’s sight,

so that it may go well with you

and you may go in

and take over the good land that the Lord

promised an oath to your forefather…”

- Deuteronomy 6:18

Back to studying!

2007-01-26T21:32:00.000-08:00

The week seems to be passing so quickly that I realized that I have been lagging far behind my school work. This semester I really need a miracle from God to pull up my GPA!!! I need to claim from God all the As in my subjects this semester in order to pull up the GPA! I’m going to ask big for it but I know that I also need to put in more effort in my revision.

I don’t really have enough time to do my tutorials due to having tuition after school. I must learn to have good time management and prioritize the things to do. Because of planning to put in more effort in my school works, I feel that I have started to neglect doing quiet time, which is definitely not good. Although, I wanted to study, I realized that the school works seem tough and I can’t manage to understand or get it into my brain. I seem to have a difficult start to studying. Help!! I have been praying that God would help me find a better study way so that I can concentrate.

I set up a goal to go school early starting from next week, will be taking a lift from my sister and studying in the NIE canteen until lesson starts. Hope that it will be a good spot for studying. Beside I have a long break on wed after dropping me Engineering Drawing module, should make full use of it to do tutorial.

I would like to thanks God this week for making my adding of Lab 2C successful. If not, I will have to take it only in the 2nd semester next week and will affect my attachment. When I was so desperate about this Add/Drop thing, I totally surrender everything to God and from the bottom of my heart, I said to him,” Lord, I knew that you will make everything smooth for me and will take always the trouble from me. I commit all the things in your hand!” and thank that God has indeed help me. He assured me with Hebrew 13: 6

“God has said,

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”
So we say with confidence,

“The lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?”

Asking Big!

2007-01-22T09:16:00.000-08:00

Having NTU cell today, the very first after our school semester have started. I was indeed glad to see Diana at the cell as it was always a joy having someone from another tribe in the cell group.

Actually I was feeling rather tired after having a straight 3 hrs lecture. But when Eric started sharing, I was so surprised that what he shared was exactly the things that I wanted to share too! He was telling us that when we ask God for something big, we really need to proclaim it and not just asking silently in our heart. By proclaiming it confidently the thing you are asking God for whether to your friends or your spiritual family, it shows the amount of faith you have in God. The faith that you truly believed that God will give it to you and you want to claim it in victory! I strongly agree with it.

I witness it myself how God really work his way through me when I proclaim it during the cell that I want to grow deep in my character. And I realized that the more people I proclaim it to, the stronger the lord is working on me. So all of us should ask God for something big, proclaim it aloud and be ready to claim it as God can see the faith we have.

Something fresh to start off in the NTU cell is the prayer walk in the school. The main purpose is to bless everyone even the lecturer and the buildings in our school! Haha!! Bless the building??? Of cos need to… we have to pray that every lab equipments will be functioning well so that our lab work will be carry out smoothly mah!!… hee (*_*)

Anyway, before the start of the prayer walk, we did some reflection! I questioned God how am I going to share and bless the people as no words were given to me. I am also not sure whether I will be sharing the right thing with my friends. And God affirm me with Mark 9:38-41 [Whoever is not against us is for us]. This is what God has advised me with:

“Its ok to share even no word was given to you. I will bless you with the courage. Anything you share in my name is something good and because I love you, so I know that there will not be anything bad coming out from you.”

In a nutshell, there should be no fear when we share with others!

Weaknesses

2007-01-21T05:36:00.000-08:00

I actually felt quite lazy to blog, but felt that even at the start of this week God has indeed develop me into someone stronger. Therefore, I really thank God and would like to blog it down and praise him.

As the year begins, I told myself to work in a spiritual way – meaning living in the spirit of the God and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. “God, help me to go deep in my character and be filled with the fruits of the spirit!” This is something big that I’m going to seek the god for, and I ask God to develop me by his power and not by my human effort as I knew that if I didn’t seek him, and work a way out by my own strength, it is impossible for me.

Sometimes, when you want God to work powerfully within you, you need to surrender – Enthrone God’s right over your life! [Been preached by Pastor Melvyn during the service today] I question God this morning on the way to my Post encounter lesson, “God, how am I going to listen to your words and allow you to develop me?” He refers me to:

- 1 Corinthians 1: 7-9
“Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for
Our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong to the end, so
That you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus
Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ
Our Lord is faithful.”

Sometimes, you may be so confused by what is the message that the lord is telling you. Seek him and question him, he will give you more and made it clearer to you. I was so amazed by even when I’m blogging now, I ask God how am I going to express the message you are telling me and Guess what? God refers me at this instant to read 2 Corinthians 12: 1-10 [Paul’s Vision and His Thorn] and it clears the picture in my mind.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
“But he said to me,” My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about the weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong”

During the worshiped today, the word “weak” also flash in my mind and in 2 Corinthians 12, weakness was also strongly emphasized. I think God is telling me that we should delight in our weaknesses and do not conceal or be afraid of it. For when you are weak, the lord is strong and when only you boast about your weaknesses, Christ power can then rest upon you. Aman!! Praise God and thanks God! I think this is the thing I’m lacking and should work on it. I’m always finding excuses to hide my weaknesses and I believed God is asking me to surrender it so that he can lay his hand upon me!

Are You Seeking the God when you are in trouble?

2007-01-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

This few days have been raining so heavily. Having to go and forth from school in the rain (especially for someone like me who doesn’t like to carry an umbrella with me) was definitely dreadful. But thanks to the rain, that I sense the message that God wanted to tell me.

That day, after my tuition, as usual it was still raining heavily. I purposely teach a bit slower and even leave my tuition house a bit later in the hope that the rain would subside. Yes, indeed it became lighter. Jeslyn’s mum offer me an umbrella so that I will not be caught in the rain but I rejected it as I felt that the rain has stop and I can just dashed to the bus stop. But I feel that God is purposely playing a trick on me. Once I took the life to the lobby of her flat, the rain seem to get heavy again. Thinking it was quite troublesome and embarrassing to go back to borrow an umbrella from her, I decided to run my way to the bus stop. I board the bus and upon reaching Causeway point, I realized the rain has stopped and so I decided to go shopping for a while before buying dinner back home. But guess what, when I was ready to go back, the rain started heavily again. I questioned God, “Why ah? Every time I want to leave for a place, you seem to purposely create the rain heavier.

When I reached my house bus stop, it was still raining heavily. I have to go to the market to buy my dinner and the journey there was quite a distance and without shelter at all. I called my sis at home to deliver an umbrella to me but she wanted to watch the superstar and ask me to wait for another 15min after the show end. I stand alone at the bus stop feeling cold and uneasy with the floor so wet and dirty. I envy those who have an umbrella with them and can walk slowly in the rain. After, 15min, my sis appeared with an umbrella and I slowly make my way to the bus stop. At that moment, I suddenly felt so strongly that the umbrella I am carrying is like the God who is always beside me. I looked around me and everyone is also carrying different color umbrella sheltering them. It suddenly prompt to me that God has always been with us, protecting us like the umbrella sheltering us from the rain, but did we make full use of it? Or we only think about him only at our most critical moment? And worst, sometimes even at our most critical moment, did we seek him first or we just simply forget about him?

I felt that God is asking me whether in my most desperate and critical moment, I have seek him or simply I have just forgotten about him. My sis carrying an umbrella to me act as an illustration that is it only when someone prompt you or remind you that you need to pray and ask God for help, then you will seek him. I felt that this has been what I’m doing when I face problems in the registration of my sch modules. Why do I choose to run on my own effort when someone already offers me the umbrella?

That night, God refer me to Galatians 3:2-5

“Did you receive the spirit by observing the law, or by believing what you heard? Are you so foolish? After beginning with the spirit, are you now trying to attain your goal by human effect? Have you suffered so much for nothing – if it really was for nothing? Does God give you his spirit and work miracles among you because you observe the law, or because you believe what you heard?”

I ask Alvin the next day to explain to me. He asks me to seek the God for an answer but I told him that God didn’t reply me. Then he said sometimes you have to be sensitive. God don’t necessary speaks to you in a clear distinct voice but sometimes is how he make you think and prompt your mind that he’s speaking to you. Then I realized that there may be circumstances when God already hint me but I just choose to ignore him.

2007-01-12T19:54:00.000-08:00

The first week of my 2nd semester of school hasn’t been easy for me. I faced lots of disappointment and heart-ache when I came to know that I have to drop two of my modules and can only take it in my third year. This means that I will have extra workload in the third year. This started for the school new system that anyone whose result is not good in the previous semester and have received an AW will have no choice but to take only 7 modules for one semester.

Yap, I did try to appeal to slot in one more module. I even sit down in the office face to face with the professor who is overall in charge of the academic matter. Talk to him about my situation and hoping that he can help me. He did try to appeal for me but the school still insists on the school system. I felt so sad and I think my mood level had dropped to 0. But I knew that I have to be optimistic and this might be the path that God has lay for me, not allowing me to take so many modules and in the end getting poor result again. I’m still not the worst, my good friend, Mika even have to drop 3 modules so think we really need to encourage each other this semester.

My tuition has started. Although I’m feeling rather low morale, but I knew that I can’t let this affect my tuition. Have a great time talking to my tuition girl, Jeslyn’s mother about Christ that day after my tuition. She asked me whether I baptize already and is it possible for me to baptize without my parent’s consent as I am already above 21. I explained to her my situation and told her that it would be better to obey them and if I did baptize without their consent, I think I will even face more trouble at home and might even not be able to go to church service. Isn’t that worst? She share that she also face this problem last time and indeed that I really have to pray for that. Things would eventually turn out better. It’s always a joy to be able to share with someone as I cannot do that at home.

2006-12-11T07:35:00.000-08:00

Struggle with Laziness

I am just wondering whether it is a blessing that I’m able to work during this Dec holiday since some of my friends are hoping for a job but are unable to find one. Actually, I don’t felt like going back to help my boss cos just wanna hope to enjoy this short school holiday and because of the job, I cannot go out with my friends. So sad!

Have been setting a goal to go jogging early in the morning but because of my laziness, I just continue to sleep even my alarm rang at 6am. Haiz… this school holiday has ready accumulate my laziness level. Sijia… come on lah!!! You better stop this slacking attitude!

“Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.
He who gathers crops in summer is a wise son,
But he who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son.”

Proverb 10:4:5

I neither want to be poor nor be a disgraceful son!!! Come on, Jiayou! Jiayou! Better wake up early tomorrow for a fresh morning jog before going to work. Talking about work, don’t like it when my boss ask me to call his client. Why? Cos I need to chase after them for not paying their premium!!! And normally I will get back complains and scolding from all these clients. Hey, it’s them that didn’t pay the premium, still dare to complain… (*^*)

One disappointing new. My tuition family cannot make it for the MOL this Saturday. So sad! Really hope to see them there but no choice. Anyway, looking forward to the MOL cos I will be bringing my Mum along. Treat her to the premium seat as her Christmas present seating at the 9th row from the front. I am praying hard that she will be able to get to know God more after this MOL. I had a weird dream yesterday. I dreamt that my mum was angry with me for being a Christian and she even throws away my two bibles. I tried to stop her but couldn’t. I keep on crying but she still ignores me and even throws away my precious bible that Michelle had given me. The dream was so real that when I woke up in the morning, I quickly make sure that my bible is still with me. Hee… Perhaps, I’m too fearful of my parents.

Self-Reflection

2006-12-09T08:54:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it can be so amazing that God wanted you to learn and know the purpose of your life by first reflecting back on yourself. And this is done when you first reflect back on all the negative side of your character and this can make you feel so lousy about yourself.

To me, I always find ways to improve in myself and feel that I can leave all my bad characters behind and becoming a more perfect person. I’m a girl who is very ambitious in term of trying to achieve what others have that I do not have. This actually lead me to even want to achieve more and feeling that I am capable of changing oneself to be so perfect in other people view.

But thanks God for making me reflect on my negative side of the character. After my encounter camp, I ask God this question, “How can’t I’m not able to experience you much in the encounter camp? Is there something that is lacking in me that disenable me to draw nearer to you?” To my surprise, I found out the answer a few days later when I’m having my quiet time with God.

God did not answer my question directly but instead it made me reflect back on certain points that I have neglected in myself. The questions that popped up in my mind at that moment is, “Do you think you have change in term of your own capability or by the power of God?” and “Are you working a way out for God or is God working a way out for you?” This indeed took me some times to reflect on.

People often feel that they are so capable of doing everything and when there’s changes and improvement, they get so proud that they feel that it is their own power that leads them to it. This makes me realize that the changes in me are not just because I think I’m so good but it’s by the power of God. If I didn’t receive Christ two months ago, will I be able to kick off some of my bad habits? The answer is no. This teaches me to be more humble. I began to ask myself again, “So why are you seeking God so desperately and what is your purpose?” and this had indeed make me felt a sense of guilt that did I seek God just because all my church friends are doing so and I feel that I should be like them. Perhaps God wanted me to answer this question true fully to myself. I came to realize that I am actually setting a way out for God to achieve what I want instead of following the way God has set out for me. This had definitely made me learn a precious lesson on myself and make me realize that there’s more that I need to learn about.

I came across this message while reading the book on “Reaching for the invisible God” by Philip Yancey.

“Those who say that they believe in God and yet neither love nor fear him do not in fact believe in him but in those who have taught them that God exists. Those who believe that they believe in God, but without any passion in their heart, any anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God-idea, not in God”

– Miguel De Unamuno

So do you love or fear God? For me, I choose to love him and I’m working hard to seek and know more about him during my Dec holiday and I believe that through him, God will make me grow up more…

And I thanks God for blessing me with a wonderful spiritual family. I love my Ah ma, Julee and all my loving sisters. It’s them that make me learn more about this Christianity journey and I am confident that I will continue to live in faith with God each and every day.

Encounter Camp

2006-12-08T07:16:00.000-08:00

Encounter Camp

“Drawing near to God” – yap, that’s what everyone is aiming for. To me, drawing near to God seems not an easy thing. This relationship with a God we can’t see, hear, or touch – how does it really work? How can I know God?

“How do I relate to a God who is invisible when I’m never quite sure he’s there?”
– Philip Yancery

These are the questions that have always been pondering me since the first day I step into FCBC. Faith is the keyword that my spiritual family has been telling me – to live in faith with God. They share with me their testimonies on how they experience God and they said that you will see God face to face when you go for the encounter camp. And yes, finally my encounter camp is here and I’m all ready to experience this “Seeing God Face to Face experience” from this camp as well as to find out more about God.

Alvin told me that I was lucky to go for this encounter camp even only after my short two month from receiving Christ. If I miss this encounter camp, I will have to wait for the next year. What is the feeling before I go to this Encounter Camp? Yah... I bring along a curious, exciting as well as a fear of disappointment heart to this camp.

Fear of Disappointment? What is there to fear about? I fear that I will not be able to relate to God and will not even be able to fill my thirst for God and the faith in God.

My guide for this Encounter is Joy who is indeed a wonderful and friendly guide. It was held at the Girl Brigade Quarter from the 1st Dec to 3rd Dec. And this encounter has allow God to reveal to me more of the negative side of myself – self reflection.

What do I means by self-reflection?

Throughout the 3 days at the encounter camp, the most unforgettable session to me is the session on the “Father’s Love”. It was the only session that allows me to experience the presence of God drawing so near to me. Our pastor for that session is Pastor Debra. I could still remember that it was the period whereby she asks our guide to give us a fatherly hug that I experience the presence of the God. At first, I felt nothing when Joy gave me the hug. To me, I only felt that yah this is the way a Father would hug his children. But as she continues to pray for me during the “hugging” session, I suddenly feel that the person who was hugging me is my lord father. Every single word that she say to me strongly impact in my heart that it was the lord father who is speaking to me. I could still remembered clearly that the lord father told me to be patience but I was not quite sure why? Anyway, I felt so strongly touch by the lord father that my tears just automatically flow down my face. (Sorry Joy for wetting your Jacket… hee).

However, it was normally after the session whereby we were having our rest that a lot of self-reflections fall upon me. Especially during the night whereby we need to confess our sin on the sin list to be pinned on the cross the following night. The word on the sin list, “Jealousy” and “Impatience” just seem to be waving to me to tick them and of cause I ticked them.

In fact, I feel that I learned more after this encounter camp when I’m having my quiet time with God. Yawn…. I’m feeling so tire now… think I will continue on my next blog what are the self-reflections for me that God has teach me…(*_*)